One of the biggest conflicts in youth sports, schools, among neighbors and even between family members is child discipline. Philosophies are as varied as fingerprints.
Some parents are OK with almost any well-meaning adult correcting their child. This is where I fall. My wife and I can’t be around all the time. If you see my child causing trouble or about to be hurt, don’t just stand around and watch.
Help and/or correct her. We can discuss the details later.
Other parents only want a few trusted adults correcting their children. Coaches, teachers, grandparents and maybe the favorite aunt or uncle fit into this category. These parents will listen to reason, but the right messenger is key.
Then you have the parents who don’t want anyone correcting their babies but them. If their child is caught behaving poorly, they want you to tell them about it first – even before you correct the child.
I’ve been in dozens of meetings over my career as a teacher and coach with parents about a child’s behavior. Too many of those meetings devolved into them questioning why I said anything to the kid in the first place.
Since the child’s actions were never addressed, the negative behavior continued. Some situations escalated to the point where a child was kicked off a team or had to switch schools.
When the parents are the only ones who can discipline a child, it weakens the authority of the teacher or the coach. To the other kids, it appears as if one kid can get away with anything. In reality, the adult doesn’t want to have it out with the kid’s parents, so they let a lot of things go until the situation become unbearable.
Parents who are their child’s only disciplinarian also need to be their child’s only teacher and coach. To make it plain, if you are the only one who can say anything to your child, then you need to homeschool them and coach them in the backyard.
Keep the monster you are creating in your home laboratory!
I’m not disparaging anyone’s child. I’m talking about monster creation in the Frankenstein sense. Your discipline philosophy is creating a disruptive and potentially destructive child.
No one needs that on their team or in their school. Don’t raise a child no one else wants to have around.